ACQUAINTANCES ON THE INTERNET: 
MYTH AND REALITY
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If the person gets acquainted with the Internet sooner or later it will start and to get acquainted through the Internet. The given thesis is fair not only in relation to programmers, at times for 12 hours not getting out of the Network, but even more often and in relation to ordinary users. Among them if to trust statistics, men prevail; but, I think, that I shall not be mistaken, if I shall tell, that the majority of myths – both positive, and negative - about acquaintances on the Internet is created by women.     nest numbers the Internet-forums where all is roughly discussed the same eternal question « Where to find Prince? », only in more modernized version: « Through what network service of acquaintances it is easier to find Prince? » Beginners doubt of success, skilled share personal experience, hurrah-patriots strew damnations to the address of the women, dreaming to find the foreign husband, women who have successfully married foreigners scoff above hurrah-patriots – a word, noise, din, shout, the Odessa market during the high season. Thus it is easy to notice, that, in such discussions frequently repeat not only arguments pro and contra, but also the lexicon and to catch not that that a gold small fish, but even something in the slightest degree nutritious from this muddy vodichki malorealno. The woman thirsting new acquaintances needs only to dare to act on the fear and risk: to open the mail box on a free-of-charge server, to fill the questionnaire in one or several services of acquaintances, to scan and add to the questionnaire more or less a successful photo and to wait for results.     If lady is young and good itself, moreover and lives in the big city results will not keep itself waiting long. Whether she aspired to get acquainted with the compatriot – in three days the mail box will burst with letters in style « Greetings, I Vovan! You class, give we shall meet at underground " Falcon " today in a floor of the eighth » up to long grandiloquent messages from very thin intellectuals, forty years looking that, unique from which they were separated in the last life. Whether she dreams of a sweet life on a country house in Miami – a stream English-speaking messages from the most different public – from sorokavosmiletnego the farmer from Idaho up to the 30-years surgeon from Pakistan will rush. And even if the maintenance of other letters will be far from rates of decency, to miss to their addressee it is not necessary, and, probably, virtual dialogue will soon pass in quite real appointment.    If lady is not so good, with two children or is not so young, that, alas, results of virtual searches will differ not too from searches in an ordinary life: or nobody will respond, or will come two-rub unappetizing letters on which and to answer it would not be desirable.  However, besides services of acquaintances, there are also other ways of dialogue: chats, forums, ICQ. And the Internet is great: here has not carried, there we shall try, and who searches, that will always find!      Only in, whether it is necessary to search for a question, and if yes, it is necessary to clear consciousness of what myths first of all. 1. Positive myths.    The main positive myth the Internet-acquaintances, actually, is not especially internetnym. It is a myth that by means of marriage agency it is possible to find that Prince: young, rich, beautiful and brought up. Many piously believe in foreign Prince, but is and lyubitelnitsy a domestic production. What it is possible to tell on it? Princes, strangely enough, not a myth. Such men really are found both in London, and in New York, and in Moscow. Here they only do not search for wives neither on the Internet, nor in marriage agency: to them and so the turn costs(stands).      Curious example of unfading female optimism is the secret belief of some reasonable ladies that though basically millionaires indeed in virtuale do not search for wives, but in Silikonovoj to the Valley there are such mad programmers who sleep near the computers literally, light white do not see and only on the Internet and can communicate to the woman. They thus young-nice and zashibayut there are less 100000 dollars a year. And here on them, smart guys, also it is necessary to hunt. Well, blazhen who believes …    The second myth – about any singularity of virtual dialogue in comparison with real. Its sources go back to a myth frightened by a kind of the monitor of humanists that the text typed(collected) on a computer, differs radically from the text written by hand, and the story printed in the Network – from the story printed in thick magazine. And precisely and distinctly formulate these differences any could not more the giant think. Probably, because, that they do not exist. In the same way and correspondence acquaintance in the Network anything, except for breadth of scope of an audience, does not differ from other kinds of correspondence acquaintance: through the announcement in the newspaper, the matchmaker or the best girlfriend. You give the information that would wish to get acquainted, interested persons respond to it or do not respond – and only. Electronic correspondence differs from real only in the speed of delivery of the letter to the addressee, and any positively developing attitudes(relations) aspire to pass from correspondence to something more tangible – even to telephone conversations.   (By the way, the main minus of all correspondence acquaintances is inherent in virtual novels also – fall in love with one person (more precisely, in the image created by our imagination), and face in a reality absolutely with another (not necessarily bad, but another, and it is enough of this that all has ended).      The third myth is shared, the truth, not all obitatelnitsami Networks , and refers to « belief in gravity of intentions ». Many ladies are convinced, that the strong half of mankind concerns to sites of acquaintances, correspondence and other with the same piety, as they. In practice, for the majority of men, acquaintance on the Internet – no more than pleasant and noncommittal entertainment. Whether it consists in simply to have fun with correspondence, or in finding the free-of-charge mistress on couple of weeks – the essence has put from this does not vary.      I suppose, that last statement will seem to someone more disputable, than two previous. I shall try to explain, such difference in approaches whence undertakes. First of all, average the man (notice – average, I do not speak about all) concerns to everything connected with private life initially easier. On this account(invoice) there are many jokes and yumoresok approximately with such plot: it, having started a phrase « I wished to tell to you … » and, wishing to tell, that cannot come to it(her) on Sunday, suddenly notices new model "Forda", distracts for an instant, and forgets to continue a phrase; it(she), having accepted its words for a long-awaited declaration of love, already starts to think, in what interior it is better to hire a wedding dress. Seriously with the woman average the man concerns to attitudes(relations) when feels the possible(probable) responsibility. And what responsibility if you, we shall allow, in Krivoi Rog, and it – in Kolambuse, state of Ohio? And if you live in one city, all the same you – no more than casual acquaintance in which anybody to anybody nothing is obliged.       Further, the woman concerns to all new, including to the Internet by virtue of what often does not feel there the on all of 100 % more conservatively and more cautiously. And there, where we do not feel the on all of 100 %,  we necessarily behave more seriously, than in the company of old friends.  2. Negative myths.  The myth the first besides does not concern only to the Internet-acquaintances, but they also enter into it(him). It(he) says, that gets acquainted in the "unnatural" way, first, it is a shame, secondly, is useless, as normal people so all the same do not get acquainted.     Everything is clear, that for people with stereotypic thinking, that is beyond their daily experience, gets a shade of suspiciousness and impropriety, but here is amusing that opponents of "artificial" acquaintances at times ryadyatsya in clothes of defenders of patriarchal traditions. The matter is that 100-150 more years to that practically for all people of the CIS so-called "artificial" acquaintance were the most natural, normal and decent. Remember, how married Grishku Melekhova? And matchmaker Fatimu from the same play remember? The matchmaker was an integral part - that country, that a petty-bourgeois life, and anybody to this did not marvel. To a word, the first marriage announcement has appeared in English, in my opinion, to the newspaper in the end of 18 centuries. Will agree, that if such form of acquaintances would be absolutely incapacitated she at all would not live up to now. So any form of acquaintance is natural.    As if to a contingent, looking to itself the bride/husband through intermediaries (whether the matchmaker, whether marriage agency), that, certainly, among him is both psychopaths, and losers, and speculators, but on the same characters it is possible to dig(run) and in an ordinary life. The majority of inhabitants of the Network – people mentally quite steady and physically enough healthy; an another matter, their intentions are how much serious.     How much really to find in the Network the half (it is successful to marry)? The Unequivocal answer to this question to give it is impossible, because in each case - the initial conditions of a problem. Unequivocally only that you will not find the young and beautiful millionaire. And so – as will carry. Than more modestly the purpose, the below the requirement – the is more than chances of success; as, however, and in a usual life. However, if there is such opportunity, in my opinion, to try) costs (as – about this a little below). Myth of the second: « acquaintances through the Internet are dangerous ».      Oh, that only not nachitaeshsya, wandering on the Network! That at the poor jobless American the bad Russian girl-virgin has enticed last three thousand dollars and has disappeared, and now shouts unfortunate do not calm down on all sites devoted russian brides. That the romantic Russian student has fallen in love in charming shvedku and even has written to it(her) the diploma under the Russian literature, and shvedka it has appeared the Swedish student, it is severe posmeyavshimsya above enamoured, there and then committed suicide. That the innocent trustful thirty-year young girl have enticed into a underground Arabian brothel where force it, from school hated physical culture, in addition to dance belly dance., etc., etc. Even if even half of these histories is the truth (and who checked?), obviously one: acquaintance through the Internet is not more dangerous than acquaintance in a real life.      It is possible to object, certainly: and what we know about the person who has written to us, except for the address of a mail box? Only what it will inform us, and where a guarantee what is the truth?    All is true. About casual we know the Internet-friends very little, but in fact and reading of the electronic letter of danger behind itself does not attract (unless only a virus will send or will get nasty). Something is not pleasant in the letter or will guard – so send him to hell . A different sort unpleasant consequences are possible(probable) only at more close acquaintance, but in fact here all in your hands: demand a maximum of the information from the partner before to pass to a new phase of contact. As if to marriages with foreigners it is the special theme demanding special conversation; I shall notice only, that on the Internet there is practically everything, including the personal information on John Smith, the city of Plezantvill, street of Elms, 13, state of Kentucky. An another matter, that this information does not contain data on the account(invoice) of character or features of the attitude(relation) to the specified John's money, well so I and speak, that marriage(spoilage) with the foreigner – a theme special and for frameworks of given clause(article) leaving.   The myth the third is close to the second, with that only a difference, that as a source of danger the Internet acts. Those who long sit on the Internet, sooner or later become the Internet-dependent. It is strange, that this obvious bosh so long does not descend(go) from pages of newspapers – probably, owing to predilection of journalists for sensations. And examples of real cases "setemanii" do not convince. The matter is that in a society there is a known percent(interest) of people with unstable mentality at which with ease painful mental dependence on something is formed, for example, from gamblings or a collecting of cards. With the advent of the Internet the part of this public was switched to it(him), but a network here, really, there is nothing. In fact do not close a casino only because there are players-maniacs? (such player, to a word, is superb described by Zweig in its(teen) short story « Twenty four hours from a life of the woman »). Predilection for the Internet is not more dangerous than predilection for chocolate.      Having understood in process of forces with myths, we shall pass to a reality. For that it is necessary to wait and what it is necessary to make, what the Internet-dialogue (and, first of all, with an opposite floor), brought to us only pleasure? Summarizing the and another's experience, I have formulated some rules which, hope, will be useful to you on travel on the Network. 1. Do not expect from the Network too much, do not build plans, do not cherish illusions! Miracles, alas, does not happen there is no place. Try to consider the Internet first of all as a source of the information on world around or a way of a relaxation, instead of as a huge dance pavilion where young girls send to get acquainted with children. Be not in earnest to virtual acquaintances too. Be ready to that half, written to you the first letter, will not send the second. 2. Not be too trustful or frank. Not necessarily even, creating a mail box, in the column "Sender" to specify an original surname. If be convinced, that that relation stand, still will have time to tell all about itself. If virtual relations are going to pass in real, observe even the minimal safety rules (the meeting in crowded a place, home to not go, etc.). 3. Do not confuse a virtual life to a life personal. Yes, successful attempts the Internet-acquaintances is a fine way to lift a self-estimation, to fill time emptiness in private life, to communicate to interesting people, to tighten English language, to get new personal experience, eventually! But in the real world it will not replace real attitudes, let alone what at times to understand, that for the person before us, it is not possible and after several years of a joint life – where there to several weeks of chatter on "aske" or to several months of correspondence. And in general, have fun as sang once Sindi Louper, have a good time, search, write, and let to all of us carries. P.S. All stated above is personal opinion of the author and does not apply for the status of true in last instance. However, as wrote classics, our remark remains in force.

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