| 6
jun 2007
ALICIA FRIDMAN (ATHENS,GREECE) GUEST MARRIAGE, OR GAMES FOR ADULTS
For our time persistent and continuous searches of "new" forms of relations between the man and the woman are characteristic, and the leading tendency is imposing eternal experiment as way of life to more and more wide layers of the population . Still pair decades back to experiments in is intimate-personal sphere called basically youth (« in this life it is necessary to try all »). Now with the offer to try « something brand new » address to thirty-year. However, the essence of offers of "μΰρρξβθκξβ-inventors" and masskultury to different age groups differs from mass-media a little: thirty-year impose not so much new forms of sex (it is supposed, that they already have tried it), how many "new" variants of traditional marriage. The word "new" is taken in inverted commas not casually, for actually and in the most popular variant "civil marriage", (and in all others) there is no resolute anything new. Actual marriage cohabitation without registration be wedding in churches or visiting of meeting state bodies exists as much, how many there is a civilization. Different forms "konkubinata" (cohabitations) are known still to the Roman right. However, it is not obligatory to get so far in searches of precedents. It is enough to open the chubby novel almost any writer of 19 centuries Russian or western, and we immediately meet a couple living by a principle « us crowned not in church ». All as now free love and contempt for reserves, except for one serious circumstance: « Free marriage » in the 19-beginning of 20 centuries was destiny marginals. It is not necessary to draw immediately, by the way, in imagination of Gorki tramps; it is a question about marginalnosti in the broad sense of the word. In civil marriages "bear-hunters" with the "Maruskami" - a range as it is visible, wide consisted both the Parisian demimondaines, and bohemians, and ardent revolutionaries, and vory-. Boring petty bourgeoises, "backward" peasants, "uneducated" workers, dark merchant class yes a degenerating nobility a word, practically all other society did not enter into it only. However, for the sake of justice it is necessary to note, that noblemen yes merchants, especially more richly, sometimes sinned, getting soderzhanok actresses or the gone astray maidens, « created for luxury ». But nobody named the similar unions marriage(spoilage), and the same married babbling kupchiki, as a rule, finally representatives of the class and with all ceremonies. However, with "civil marriage" presently you will surprise nobody. In the agenda on the first place the new invention of reformers of morals so-called guest marriage. Its essence is reduced to that two partners, registering the attitudes or not (and what here, however, to register?) on a regular basis meet for joint employment by sex, not living thus together, not conducting the general facilities and not having, as a rule, the common children. Why it is marriage, you ask? Because partners as though undertake to observe monogamiyu and other persons to not meet. Apologety given "invention" choke with delight, listing advantages of the model. Look, how it is convenient: first, rarely the woman is completely free from boring house fuss! It has all advantages of home life, i.e. regular sex, and its any minuses. Secondly, partners do not bother each other, do not get used to each other, and sex for a long time keeps the bright, celebratory character. Thirdly, such family saves a lot of time for another matters, for example, for career. And so on, and so forth. At desire it is possible to list ten more advantages, and all of them will really take place. A problem not in, whether block pluss minuses. The main problem of guest marriage (as well as all other « innovative variants ») consists that this model works exclusively in favorable social and economic conditions. Differently, all these « the unions of two free people » are calculated on physically healthy, financially secure and socially successful people. But as soon as the life puts before such union in the slightest degree serious test, for example, not so heavy, but long illness of one of partners, « guest marriage » comes to an end. And to blame for it of the second partner even it is awkward. The attitudes based on mutual sexual satisfaction, automatically stop in case of disappearance or even deterioration of this satisfaction. So big sin in throwing the partner which lost a packaging or has rolled down on a social ladder, for morals of egoists is not present. Anyhow? In fact anybody should nothing to anybody. The similar approach radically contradicts a Christian, traditional principle of marriage: « In illness and in health, in riches and in poverty » when two people, besides simple thirst of physical pleasure, connect thousand hidden strings with feeling of a duty up to pity, from the common vital purposes up to the responsibility before near and far. Also it is not necessary to sneer, as in "lawful" marriage the husband not too seldom throws the ill wife, and the wife the ruined husband. As any complex structure traditional marriage is rather vulnerable. We know, how it is possible to spoil the complex car, only having pressed not on that button. Such "buttons" are and in traditional marriage, but in it there is also what is not present in other models. Again resorting to comparison from the world of technics, I shall tell: traditional marriage is the "car" created for work in any, even the most adverse conditions. Also it is the car possessing enormous ability to self-control and self-restoration. Yes, as well as any technics, this car is not perfect it gives failures, it can break during the most improper moment. But it a reality, it works already two thousand years. And it allows to realize the most different needs of the person: from need for a daily bread in the broad sense of the word up to need in eternal. And what guest marriage? And guest marriage no more than simulyakr **. It gives only illusion of the union, illusion of attitudes, illusion of that « at me someone is ». As a matter of fact is a game in the marriage, one of those numerous games for adults who so were in details described in due time by Bern ***. The adult person has the right to spend time for games eventually, it is its choice. The main thing to not sink into dotage and to not confuse game to a real life. .. ALICIA FRIDMAN (ATHENS,GREECE) |
