GAMES OF REASON
(History about Irina and Irishu)
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Dream of all mistresses the clever, intelligent and independent wife who, having learned(having found out) about change, this very day leaves the husband without tears and scandals, leaving an apartment with it is proud of the lifted head and two suitcases. If there are children she takes away children with herself, with contempt refusing from the alimony. Such wife understands what to keep the man hysterics, faints, threats of suicide and other female grimaces unworthy to press on him children immorally, and the true love in that and consists to release(let off) the favourite person to that with whom to him it will be better. The dream of all mistresses is those.
And dream of all deceived wives? To pay back with razluchnitsej.
In the forty Irina knew about wives and mistresses so much, how many other person does not learn(find out) and for a centenary life. Because was the practising psychologist and has heard to thousand female confessions such various and simultaneously similar. So was millions times: detection of change the first shock then a pain, anger, fury, jealousy in a combination to improbable hope hope for a mistake(an error). And suddenly the husband has borrowed(lent) the car to the friend, and that has removed(has taken off) the prostitute and consequently under a seat packing of condoms rolls? And suddenly condoms has thrown any homebrew YAgo, wishing to destroy their strong family? Millions women, crying and already all having understood, thought out explanations and tried to delay the beginning of the first certificate(act) of a severe drama, tried to remove a flour(torment). Millions, and now and she is Irina.
Let minute but also she has tried to turn away from true, having found out that banal proof in the husband's car. And suddenly It has decided to make a surprise? Or to joke? Illusions have there and then vanished one condom did not suffice so to joke gathered not with her, and above her. But all the same, the whole minute Irina refused to trust. And has then thrown condoms and has begun to sob, having closed the face hands. The reason perfected on long years of trainings, coolly and precisely analyzed a situation, and the soul shouted from a pain. And this bifurcation was most painful.
Who from writers has a similar plot? Ah yes, at Solzhenitsyna in « the Cancer case ». There the doctor-oncologist finds out in itself symptoms of that terrible illness. And she, Irina, has appeared on a place of the patients.
My God, as all is banal: « crisis 45-years » at the husband, too got used to family calm yes smooth surfaces the self-assured wife, podrosshy the son who any more does not demand constant trusteeship. And even the recent death of the father-in-law and the mother-in-law is typical the realized fear before death as consequence desire to take at a life everything, to make up for the missed pleasures. And even a financial position of the husband modest, but stable well-being. The business, a good apartment in city centre, the car, the considerable sum on personal charges. However, the husband not a handsome man and not Casanova. Full, baldish, little bit sleepy phlegmatic person, not able to fascinate women even at the beginning of a foggy youth is she once him has fascinated
. Not the pair young arrogant photomodel, but a titbit for the lonely woman under thirty, not managed to construct the jack and trying now to destroy another's in hope to snatch the portion of simple female pleasures.
And a fig you do not want?
Irina has shown dulyu dangled(hung about) on a windscreen chertiku, precisely this mute witness of joys taken place in the car was the assistant to unknown lady, has wiped tears and has hard left the car. To cry at ease she still will be in time when will suffer defeat.
Employed under the announcement in the newspaper a detective (here it, advantage of the big city!), the shabby muzhik with a unpleasant rigid sight, in a week has laid out a full set of the extracted(obtained) trophies before Irina: a photo golubkov in cafe, a photo golubkov in the car and the full information on artful razluchnitsu: 31 year, it is dissolved, children are not present, lives in an one-room apartment on surburb (result of exchange of the common with the husband of an apartment), education an average special, the bookkeeper in "Eurocleaning".
Last circumstance has struck Irina. she did not count, that the husband changes to her with the doctor of physical and mathematical sciences or spichrajterom the prime minister; but to contact bukhgaltershej from a dry-cleaner! Thus bukhgaltersha, that is interesting, was her namesake, and something resembled her, more precisely, on her about ten years ago the thin brown-haired woman with a short hairstyle (last years Irina has recovered and began to paint hair in ashy color). Still Irina has learned(has found out), that, despite of fragile komplektsiyu, the competitor liked to eat, especially sweet; dushilas cheap fakes under the French spirits; sometimes escaped from work to take a walk on shops; had no close girlfriends, except for zamuzhnej the sister the wife of the taxi driver, and adored knizhechki in soft covers both love novels, and detectives with bloody names of type « Revenge of the killer » or « Punishment for podstavu ».
In translation(transfer) on Irinin language not strongly pronounced introversiya, the weak type of the sanguine person, orientation to career success is absent, as the person is ordinary, the traditional vital script, is sentimental and impressionable. KHm
Having paid off with a detective, Irina has hidden proofs in the safe in a study (on a bottom, on the bottom!) also has reflected.
Similarity is clear It subconsciously wishes to return to the past, to become younger (that age crisis), and thus continues to love the wife. It wants her, but more young and more tender, probably, more obedient. It wants that Irina who sat the at home with the child and depend on him. Now the mistress psychologically depends on him. Well, it is quite good: means, to leave family Andrey does not gather. Hence, all problem rests against other person.
If Irina Ή2 will disappear from horizon of the husband, incident will be settled(exhausted). But of own will mistresses disappear seldom, unless fatally charter from unpromising connection. Or having convinced by what to throw on a table a trump female map pregnancy it will not turn out never.
Ekh, otkoloshmatit her, not sparing. That asked about mercy that was sorry. That for ever zakayalas that zareklas to attempt on another's. Or to pour her acid, to transform impudently grinning physiognomy into bloody medley. Or to badger dogs, to arrange on her hunting, as on an animal. Or easier to kill. Easy, almost indifferently, looking in eyes to press a trigger hook. Small dyrochka in a forehead, strujka blood between an eye, last spasm of an agony. Wished to destroy another's family? So receive.
Irina has dared to lose in consciousness for everything, even the most monstrous scripts of punishment. If in you the anger, a pain, fury bubble, it is necessary to allow to them to grow lazy even in imagination. Suppression of feelings a direct way to a neurosis. Or, even better, to final and awful flash of unmotivated violence. Executions of schoolmates and colleagues aggressive rolling, and the silent, timid, closed young men arranged all not. Closed eyes, Irina looked a large-format colour film « Death razluchnitsy, or the Payment for meanness(low act) », having reconciled with secondariness of the script and bad game of actors. Looked and knew, that never will cause Irina Ή2 any physical damages. The psychologist which has beaten the mistress of the husband a joke, and only.
Has passed(Has taken place) month, painful for Irina because of constant pretence, because of that consciousness, that she lays down in bed with the man, maybe, hour to that had other woman (it was disgustingly, well though Andrey did not suffice on two fronts she simply not could. There are things through which to cross it is impossible. Then, then, when she will forgive him and will wash but not now), and because of a continuous pressure(voltage). Steadfastly and stealthily to peer into the husband, to catch the slightest changes in his behaviour, to pretend, that you trust in after-hour work and « a meeting with the school friend », ended in one o'clock in the morning, "to not notice" a smell of another's spirits this daily torture which is familiar Irina on another's confessions, became her life. The nastiest, that time went, time worked against her, and Irina and could not think up what to do(make). Advice(councils) which she with ease gave another: forgive and release(let off)! any more did not satisfy. What for to release(let off) the person, which itself does not wish to leave? And how it is possible to deprive with the son of the father for the sake of satisfaction of the ambitions? When Irina looked at Valerka so similar on a folder, same thick, fairly clever and loving to eat, tears navorachivalis at her on eyes. To doom the child to psychological trauma to facilitate a life any
? Yes what mother will go on such?
So to live it is intolerable, it is obvious; but how to get rid of the competitor?
The answer has come unexpectedly, at a seminar, devoted to deviations in behaviour of teenagers. Irina all over again did not wish to go, but has then overcome itself: first, in a complex(difficult) situation it should is impossible to become isolated, secondly, there were to come many the interesting people familiar, colleagues. With one of them, the author of the report on deviations in behaviour of teenagers from incomplete families (and in fact it is fast her son will enter this dangerous age!), former classmate Sashkoj the Rook, and nowadays known enough expert on pubertatnym to pathologies, d.m.n. Grachev, Irina razgovorilas in a lobby and even has gone on coffee. No, no, about instantly flashed sympathy and speech was not; conversation went on especially professional themes.
Recently was engaged in very interesting case: the teenager 15-ςθ years has sent native mother in a clinic (it was necessary to understand neurologic). And has finished her to a nervous exhaustion in the nonconventional way: psychological attack.
And here since this moment is more detailed, Irina has become interested.
« Gold telenok » you remember? Deducing(removing) Korejko from balance? « Give one million! », the book about sharks of capitalism, the telegram?
Korejko, however, so easily has not surrendered.
At Korejki nerves were strong. And here the woman trusted in barabashek, house, UFO and other akhineyu. The son has inspired her, that in the house there lives spirit, and such focuses were thrown out I opened a mouth from amazement when It to me told. At him subjects fell, doors at night opened, blood on a mirror wrote one thousand and one night. As a result the unfortunate woman has reached that was afraid to sleep and could not remain one houses.
What diagnosis at the boy?
Preliminary yuvenilnaya schizophrenia.
Hereditary?
Why? Mother initially was quite healthy, only mind(wit) did not differ.
Yes well, if she was led on children's focuses
Grachev has mysteriously smiled and has transferred conversation on other theme. When they send(have left) from cafe, It has suggested Ire to bring up her. Already near the car It has suddenly stopped and, scaredly looking on Iru, has exclaimed:
About, My God, whence at you blood on a neck?
Where? has taken alarm Ira.
Not here, below
Yes there are no, not three, she has already dried up. A bloody crust.
Disturbed Ira has got from a handbag a powder box, has tried to open her, but the smooth bagatelle has slipped out hands and shmyaknulas about asphalt, having revealed itself. Grachev has kindly lifted a powder box and has submitted her Ire. That has seized a powder box and has immediately shuddered: the round pocket mirror has broken up exactly half-and-half. The nastiest sign. The mood, up to that was(former) if not good, but tolerable (good at her now was not), has sharply deteriorated. Signs bosh, but nevertheless
Nevertheless
What happens?
The mirror has bursted. You know, what it means?
Grachev has not had time to answer, because at him has started singing mobile.
Grachev listens? What? Irina Podolskuyu? amazement was reflected in his face. yes, was at a seminar. she even now beside with me
Nothing understanding, frightened Ira watched(kept up) his actions by widely opened eyes.
Somehow in searches you send(have left) on my mobile, - for an instant Grachev has interrupted, addressing to her. yes. What? About My God
you are assured? Yes you that? Hour back?
Inside Iry all has broken: she has understood, that there was a misfortune. Not understanding, that she speaks, she whispered pobelevshimi lips:
What? What? What?
Anything, - Grachev has suddenly shown her dulyu. calm down. I fooled you.
To calm down to Irina it was possible only after two calls: to the husband and the son. Having convinced, that with two her most dear(expensive) men everything is all right, she was not kept and has given to the colleague weighty enough clip. That only posmeyalsya:
What, I am fast you have processed? Excuse for unpleasant instants, but there is no the best acknowledgement(confirmation) of the theory, than empirical check
For five minutes, poshagovo forcing conditions, I have transformed the clever woman, the scientist, the professional into the creature shivering. Aha?
At you, Sasha, professional deformation of the person has begun, Irina in which mind(wit) during that moment turned, alas, an idea banal and very far from a science has torn off his verbalizations: « Nevertheless all muzhiks idiots and swines! » me and without you khrenovo, and you on me put experiences, cattle. Depart, anywhere I with you shall not go. Everything, good-bye. Ask the nurse, let to you galoperidol will prick for the night.
Grachev still explained something an apologizing tone, but Irina, not looking back, has gone away. Idiotic experiment has drunk from her almost all vital forces, she has not been assured, that will reach a bus stop. Meters through two hundred forces have suddenly left her, the head has begun to spin, and the reeled Irina has been compelled(forced) to lean against the first got support with which has appeared an ordinary column. From the gone through stress, from lasting many days mental anguish, from consciousness of own powerlessness time goes, and she does(makes) nothing, silent and is concealled; for fear for the son and with despair from Irina's eyes tears have rushed. Almost not realizing, that does(makes), she has sat down on kortochki, has closed the face hands. Forces any more was not, and there was no more sense to hide the truth: she does not struggle because is not capable struggle. she is weaker, than expected; she has lost even prior to the beginning of fight. From Irina's throat it was pulled out(has escaped) hoarse polukrik-οξλσβξι groan fatally wounded volchitsy; a cry of the essence which have fallen to the bottom of despair.
And here, as it happens in a zen-Buddhism and not only in a zen-Buddhism the shock has caused a sudden enlightenment.
Upon Irina has dawned. Suddenly, instantly, in one second, in a head there was a thin, artful and multirunning plan.
And let it is mean, let meanly, let but now she knew this monstrous infringement of a professional etiquette what to do(make). And how to win.
ALICIA FRIDMAN (ATHENS,GREECE)
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